Pursuit Of Happiness
by theunluckybreak
Summary: Eric is slipping and Damien is there for him. SLASH.


**Pursuit of Happiness**

Pairing: Damien/Eric  
Summary: Eric is slipping and Damien is there for him. SLASH.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or any of the show or book's characters. Written for pure fun. And oh right, the title is taken from the song Pursuit of Happiness by Kid Cudi which I kept listening to while writing this.  
A/N: Personally I enjoy happy Eric/Damien more than angsty Eric/Damien, but this just had to be written. I mean Eric actually tried to take his own life and that sort of thing just doesn't disappear. I was thinking about how serious this actually is and how well and fast Eric recovered. I just wanted to show him struggle with his depressions and Damien being there for him.  
And I want to tell you how happy I am that I've found others that ship Eric/Damien! I thought I was completely alone. And thanks for the kind reviews.

X

The light was blinding and flickering. The music was playing so loud his thoughts were drown out. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Bodies all around him were grinding up against each other and swaying to the music. It was hard to see, it was too dark inside the club.

Everything had turned blurry and melted together. Soon the voices and the music would be drown out.

The darkness was so very inviting for him, he wanted to slip. He had done it before, he could just as easily do it again. Slip away and just stop caring about anything. He knew he wore a silly smile on his lips, he could feel it. He wasn't sure why he was smiling, but he just couldn't stop it.

Was this how happiness felt like?

On the brink of darkness, on your way to slip away. Being out of control.

He was positive he was laughing now, he could feel the vibrations going through his body. He didn't hear the sound of it though, he had stopped hearing anything by now. He could only feel, and for the first time in a very long time he felt good. He was happy.

This wasn't a show off, a false smile on his lips. This was true happiness. Bliss.

He was on his way to the top of all things when he felt someone tug at his arm. He tried to ignore it, but the tugging got harsher and he was suddenly pulled away from the darkness and back into the light.

"Let go of me", he mumbled. He wanted back down.

"It's time to go home."  
He recognized that voice and realized he wouldn't go back down. His happiness was over for now.

Even though the light was back again it was still hard to see. It was all a big mess, a big nothing.

A big nothing which was waiting to swallow him whole.

X

Damien sat by Eric's bed every night and watched him sleep. He didn't want to let him out of his sight, he wanted to make sure Eric slept through the night.

Serena had stopped by, so worried about Eric she was almost getting hostile. Damien thought it was funny, Serena hadn't been very worried all the times before when Eric had slipped into these depressions. She had always been busy with her own life.

He was surprised that neither Lily or Serena could see the warning signs. Eric had tried to take his life before, he had been through depressions a lot of times, but they just couldn't see it.

"Neither my mother or I want Eric to stay here with you", Serena had said.

"So you think I should send him home with you where you won't watch over him? Or maybe I should just let you send him back to the Ostroff Center because that worked so well the last time."

"He should be with his family", Serena said.

"He should be with the one who's actually there for him. Exactly where were you yesterday when he fell apart?"

"I wasn't home, but my mother could've-"

"That's my point", Damien said and interrupted her, "You weren't even home."

Damien had watched as Serena held a battle within herself. She really didn't want to leave Eric there, but she also knew deep in that what Damien said was true.

Too bad it was a little too late.

"I won't leave my brother here with a drug dealer", Serena clarified in a steady, but icy tone.

He knew that's why they didn't trust him. It wasn't that hard to figure out. But he didn't care if they trusted him or not. _He_ didn't trust _them. _Not when it came to Eric.

He was sure both Serena and Lily loved Eric very much, but they just didn't know what he needed. They couldn't help him or take care of him.

"Yeah, well, I won't let you take him so there's not much of a choice", Damien said and smiled bitterly.

Serena had given up in the end. It didn't surprise him so much, she never was the one to fight her battles well.

He had gone back inside and sat down in the armchair by the bed. He just sat there and studied the younger brunette as he slept.

Hours later he finally woke up and blinked sleepily at Damien.

Damien didn't say anything because he knew it wasn't necessary. Eric knew very well what had happened.

Eric hadn't said anything, he had just lifted the covers and waited for Damien to slip in.

Damien reconsidered it, maybe it was too early? But he made up his mind quickly and did as Eric silently had asked him.

He slid in under the covers next to Eric and laid there completely still.

Damien wasn't known to be a gentleman, but with Eric, during these moments, he was nothing else but gentle.

They didn't talk, but they could both feel what the other one wanted to say. Words weren't necessary.

Eric moved in the darkness and Damien felt him straddle his lap, arms entwining around his neck.

Damien sighed when Eric's lips finally met his. What was it with these van der Woodsens? People gave up everything to be with them. Damien remembered back at boarding school when he had a crush on Serena. Well that crush was nothing to what he felt for Eric.

There was something special about the van der Woodsen kids.

Eric's lips attached themselves on Damien's neck, kissing their way down as Eric's hands started unbuttoning Damien's shirt. He wasn't sure this was such a good idea, but Eric seemed to need it.

The teen pushed Damien's shirt over his shoulders and threw it on the floor. Damien reached up and buried his hand in Eric's hair, pulling him closer as their lips met again.

Eric tasted sweet like honey, a touch of that happiness inside of him showing. That tiny bit of happiness Eric only let out when he was with Damien. All the other times it was usually fake.

He pulled away and their foreheads rested against each other. Damien could feel that Eric needed to say something, he had wanted it for a while now. He tried to catch Eric's gaze, but his eyes were closed.

"Thank you", Eric whispered against his lips and it ached in Damien's chest as he heard those words.

There was so much life inside of Eric, he was such a good person, and Damien hated to see when all of that disappeared. It happened every now and then, and Damien always tried to be there for him.

"Of course", Damien whispered back and tried to sound casual, like it didn't matter to him. The truth was that those words were so hard to say.

Eric pulled back fully, his gaze dropped, and he occupied his hands with tracing patterns on Damien's stomach.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault", Damien said. He reached out and stroke Eric's cheek. He wanted him so desperately to look at him, he wanted to make sure he was okay.

Eric raised his gaze slowly like he had read Damien's mind and they just stared silently into each others eyes.

"I think I'm in love with you", Eric mumbled.

Any other day Damien would've teased him a bit before answering, because that's just what he did, but not today.

"Yeah, I know", Damien said, because really, _he did, _"And I love you too."

He didn't say those words very often, he didn't spend time searching for love. But here, in his hotel room, straddled over his lap was the one love he hadn't even searched for. He had just found it.

"I want to be happy", Eric said in such a low voice Damien had to hold his own breath to hear it.

Damien stroke his cheek softly and wished with his whole heart he could make Eric happy, truly happy.

"I know", he said again.

"You're the closest thing to happiness there is", Eric said and Damien didn't want to hear that, he didn't want Eric to say that. He didn't want it to be true.

"But instead of being with me you run off with a bag of my pills", Damien said and he didn't want it to sound cruel, but it just came out that way. It was the truth anyway.

"I'm sorry", Eric repeated.

"It's okay, I'm not mad. But the next time stay instead of running away from me."

Eric nodded silently and then laid down on top of him. He nuzzled his nose into Damien's chest and the older guy held on to the teen as strongly as he could.

He didn't want to let him go. He couldn't let him go.

He had been drawn in by the youngest of the van der Woodsens and now he couldn't come back out.

END


End file.
